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Death Watch '06: Gene Pitney by Paul Shrug News::Death Cynic's Sideline 9-17-02 | Terrorist Zombies? by Funny Guy Columns::Funny! Death Watch '04: Reggie White by Paul Shrug News::Death

Wearing a sandwich board sign advertising Quacky's love of submissive Asian girls with piercings
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Tue May 2nd, 2006 at 02:16:16 PM PDT
What's wrong with it? Nothing. (300 words in story) Full Story

Because you'll hear about it sooner or later...
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Tue Feb 14th, 2006 at 03:20:23 PM PDT
Yes. Yes, it's true. At kareoke at an out-of-the-way Irish bar last night, I, matt, did drop trou during "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer. (1 comment, 39 words in story) Full Story

Dear Ho-Dawg
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Tue Sep 27th, 2005 at 04:26:41 PM PDT
I didn't mean to ban you from #satanosphere. Kick, sure, in the fun Internets way. But not bad. IT's fixed. Please stop in and visit again. You have my most sincere apologies. I feel shitty. I will even do something I wouldn't normally do to make it up. Like eat vegetables, or drink something without booze in it in public. Anyway, I'm sorry. You know how to get there, please do. (1 comment) Comments >>

I need questions and I need them now
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Mon Aug 15th, 2005 at 07:58:48 AM PDT
So a local magazine has asked me to write a new monthly column for their rag. I'm all about it, but I need some help. And that's where you come in! (13 comments, 139 words in story) Full Story

I quit.
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Tue Aug 2nd, 2005 at 09:39:22 AM PDT
I'm quitting reality TV. Quitting. No more Blow Out, no more Queer Eye, no more Newlyweds. I'm getting out of Hell's Kitchen and voting myself the fuck off of survivor. Instead, I'm going to watch shows that are honest about having contrived plots and creative writers. I'm going to watch shows where I can like everyone, intead of having to pick a favorite and hate everyone else. I never want to see another Omerosa again, in life or on screen. Simon makes me want to slap people, hard. I don't get these feelings when I watch West Wing, or 24, or reruns of the Cosby Show. No, those shows make me feel, I don't know what the word is, but it's something like "inspired". No more feeling superior to quasi-celebrities. I'd rather feel inferior to real celebrities. So no more reality TV for me, people. I quit. Except maybe America's Next Top Model when it's back on. That would rule. (5 comments) Comments >>

Me, too. I saw it.
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Fri May 20th, 2005 at 02:50:22 PM PDT
And I'd like to say this: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a Star Wars movie. Right on! (4 comments, 172 words in story) Full Story

Today's Satanosphere Hate Mailbag
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Tue Apr 5th, 2005 at 07:43:10 AM PDT
For some reason when people see something that offends them (note I didn't write "offensive") on Satanosphere, I end up hearing about it in my inbox. Not nearly as cool as when Al Sharpton's people sent me hate mail, but still pretty cool, today's Satanosphere Hate Mail comes from Anni Keller ([redacted]@comcast.net)! (14 comments, 548 words in story) Full Story

I'm now officially a Seattle resident, monorail taxes and all.
By matt, Section Diaries Posted on Sat Apr 2nd, 2005 at 03:04:03 PM PDT
Today, I finished the paperwork and I got my keys. Tomorrow, I finish moving my stuff. (2 comments, 181 words in story) Full Story

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