First, there's King Bhumibiol Adulyadej. He is loved and adored beyond comprehension. His picture graces every home and place of business, just below Buddha or that old monk guy. Really loyal subjects wai (bow) to his photo. And if you meet the man, you're going to be waiing to the floor, best believe. ('course, this translates to self-worship, if you get me) Before the movie, you have to rise and pay homage to him, as his theme song blasts away. His name means "Strength of the Land with Incomparable Power", and how many can say that? Truth be told, he's a cool dude, and has done a lot to turn Siam into Thailand and usher in the modern (western) world. (good for me: I lack the leg strength to squat over those Thai-style toilets)
Interesting notes: he always has a camera. I'm watching the watchers, Jerry! An accomplished musician, he blows sax and just received an honorary doctorate in music from University of North Texas. Anyway, to the good stuff...
Seems the King's older brother was King, until he was found dead in his bedroom from a gunshot to the head. This was 1949. A couple of patsies were found and killed. Rumors rule the roost. Rama VIII loved his guns. Did he shoot himself on accident? Mayhap. The CIA? Was he not playing ball? Less likely. Did (gulp) his beloved bro do the deed? He was present, so they say. And this much is fact: since his brother's death, His Majesty has only smiled a few times in public. That's significant in a country well known for their love of grinning like maniacs. A dark period that nobody will discuss. Anyhow, years go by, the King finds himself a...
Queen! Who is...not so great. I'm sure she's a super lady, but I know little. Fact: though once a stunning vision, she now resembles Miss Piggy, due to a few too many botched plastic surgeries. Also, people blame her for spoiling her son the...
Prince! This guy is a stone cold psycho. A rage burns in the man. A homicidal one. People say he was in the helicopters during the Democracy Riots, mowing down protesters with a machine gun. That he races the streets with his cronies, stealing cars he fancies. A favorite soap star? Now minus a nipple due to his sexual sadism. Basically, the Crown Prince gets away with anything he wants, because of his dad. (sound familiar, America?) Are the stories all true? Who cares! The fact that they exist is enough. One of the best involves his sister, the...
Princess! Who takes after her father, holds multiple degrees in varying fields, and is respected and loved by all. And let's face it: the King knows his son's a thug. He doesn't want him taking over when he's reincarnated. So he makes a decree, see? It states that a woman can sit on the throne and rule. Oh shit! The Prince is not happy. So he does what you or I would do in a similar situation-get one of our many guns, find our sister, and do what we have to do. Foiled! Her bodyguard takes the bullet in the chest and she makes her way to safety.
But their rivalry is not over! You see, in Thailand you have to swear allegiance to your teacher, and I mean for life. And guess where Princess Maha Chakri teaches? The fucking Army! And guess what Prince Maha Vajiralongkorn does for kicks? Commands the Navy! So, when Our Beloved King shuffles on, watch the news. Mind you don't get wrapped up in that there civil war, m'kay?
Next: Prime Sinister Thaksin aka "Puppet Master of Himself".
