Disclaimer: I'm not from Baltimore. I was born in DC, and through a fortunate coincidence happened to move outside of it, thereby gaining both voting rights and the happy privilege of relatively lead-free drinking water. However, having spent several years around the place, I can say what I say with confidence: for as long as I can remember, Baltimore has been a Shit Hole.
Ask your average Beltway man about "the city" and he'll think you're talking about DC, even if he's actually living in Maryland. But Baltimore is the biggest city in Maryland, right? Oh, right. Baltimore. The city. Over there. Yeah, it IS Maryland's city, that's true... but... it's... Baltimore.
You'll know there are some very good reasons for this.
For most of the past decade, Baltimore has been the most violent, drug-addicted city in America. It got so bad, the current Mayor regularly brags about how awful the place was in every single speech, because by comparison his current stewardship couldn't possibly be worse. To his credit, anyone who ever declares in an executive order that "to put it simply, RAY LEWIS IS THE MAN" can't be all bad, but when you find severed human genitalia lying around town it's hard to take progress seriously.
Then, for a year, I was in Hong Kong. Now I come back, and find... THIS. What gives? It's NIGHT TIME, IN BALTIMORE. How did the photographer get out alive? (Then again, he does keep the waters of the Inner Harbor between him and the buildings he's photographing.) Or was it ever really ever that bad a city in the first place?
Yes, yes it was. When you're listed as 1,255th out of 1260 for "Personal Crime Risk" by CNN's "Best Places To Live" charts you know you've got problems. So, in order to solve the mystery of how I managed to walk to Lexington Market and back and live, let's make an informative sweep of that great medium, the Internet.
No... No... No... Hmm, midget porno reviews? Maybe later... Here we are! Mystery solved.
While some people just can't seem to let go of Baltimore's older days (although they appear to like crappy midi music just fine) the truth is that while I was gone the regional crime wave shifted down I-95 to the good ol' District, which along with a resurgent Detroit, bumped us down to third most crime-ridden. And we're still falling! EAT IT.
I love this town.
(Oh yeah, and before you do the poll, you'd better check out that severed organ link. True, it's a bit gross, but hey, think about it, we didn't find the rest of the guy's body dead along with it, right? I told ya. This city is turning around!)
