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Barbecued Woman, We Hardly Knew Ye.

Religion
By Geek Foot, Section Advice
Posted on Wed Feb 25th, 2004 at 05:18:02 PM PDT
Oh the Bronx, how we love you. Home to nasty criminal violence, a bajillion cockroaches, and a craptastic educational system, it just got a little more interesting.

Update [2004-2-26 10:5:5 by Geek Foot]:More details have been revealed, including the addition of a senior accomplice to this toasted terror. Story inside.

(Text courtesy of WNBC)
In the Bronx, police are investigating a bizarre incident that led to the death of a 42-year-old woman.

Police say the victim was naked for some kind of religious ritual in which her body was covered with oil and alcohol.

According to police the woman then accidentally bumped into a candle, and lit herself on fire.

She apparently tripped while running through the apartment, smashing her head through a window before suffering a heart attack.

It was revealed today, that there was a 62 yr old accomplice, who was perfoming a healing ceremony that went horribly horribly wrong. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the smoky treat in the bathtub probably felt a lot better before she was 'healed'.

Jose Jimenez, Building Maintenance: "The lady was in the bathtub, and she was pouring maybe some kind of cleansing on her, with alcohol or something.... And the same time she was pouring it, it looked like she (was using a candle) to bless her or something. And some way or another the alcohol jumped on top of her, jumped on top of the candle, the candle ... just lit her up."

Honestly. Does anyone believe that this guy's name is reallyJose Jimenez?? “Baseball has been very, very good to me??” Then why are you cleaning smoked Judy out of the bathtub Jose?

< Jamie Ballard belts out another one. (5 comments) | Don't let it die! (3 comments) >


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Barbecued Woman, We Hardly Knew Ye. | 8 comments (5 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
yay for pagans! (none / 0) (#1)
by rat (rat [at] anarchy DOT gov BACKSLASH eugene) on Wed Feb 25th, 2004 at 10:44:16 PM PDT
(User Info) http://www.thismodernworld.com

'craptastic' is like my second favorite word, after 'obsessathon.' OMG!


*scowl*



better yet (none / 0) (#2)
by Quacky (quackyATsatanosphereDOTcom) on Wed Feb 25th, 2004 at 11:55:15 PM PDT
(User Info) http://www.ibiblio.org/nge/idiot.swf

craptacular

or

obsessathalon

---
"Idle hands spend time at the genitals...and we ALL know how much God hates that."

--- Old Drippy [ATFH]

[ Parent ]


Errata (none / 0) (#5)
by Paul Shrug (paulshrug@YourSadCareerAsASpammer.gmail.com) on Fri Feb 27th, 2004 at 12:35:27 AM PDT
(User Info) http://museumpoparch.blogspot.com

A truly wonderful life-affirming story, but I do have to point out an error in your Latino comic characters:

Jose Jiminez was, in fact, the character portrayed by Bill Dana in the late 50's and early 60's. He appeared on The Steve Allen Show and was famous for the line, "My name Jose Jiminez..." before such ethnic humor was passe. I think Dana is still alive.

"Baseball been beddy beddy good to me" was in fact the tag line of Chico Esquela, played by Garrett Morris on Saturday Night Live.

Freddie Prinze played the part of Chico on Chico and the Man. Not a part of this story, but just felt like showing off.

--Shrug
Now Doing Weddings And Irony



I'd like to add... (none / 0) (#7)
by ZomBfied (poundofflesh@hotmail.com) on Fri Feb 27th, 2004 at 09:24:51 PM PDT
(User Info) http://www.uberdroid.com

I still laugh out loud every time I read this story title. It keeps getting funnier!

Such is the danger of my quest, that in fighting evil I will be corrupted by it.
On that day my soul will submit to the savagery of war.

-ROM



wow (none / 0) (#8)
by katebleu (katebleu@hotmail.com) on Sat Feb 28th, 2004 at 11:22:27 PM PDT
(User Info)

me to!

[ Parent ]


Barbecued Woman, We Hardly Knew Ye. | 8 comments (5 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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