it's great. i can see whole little pages of the best and worst the weird wide webble has to offer. its the finest kind of 'surfing' the most refined. i nevar read anything anyomre. nothing shorter than the 20 or so excerpted words google serves up with my terms so nicely highlighted. or, why even bother reading? I can just look. cute, ugly scary, sexy, dirty ... all in 20 thumbnails. rapidly. no signups, no passwords, no bookmarks. just me and google.
to make it even easier, I have tricks. massively cool tricks. so easy! and so fscking l33t. ahem.
...anyways.
First off, get yourself a Real Man's browser. If you don't know what 'browser' means, tehn get the HELL OFF MY GODDAMN INTERNET. I suggest Mozilla, or Firefox. Find them yourself, sheesh.
Now one thing to note, with a superior browser, you have usability bonuses added in, that your father's browser doesn't. My favorite keyboard shortcut would have to be Control+L. What it does is so simple, yet so powerful to the Silver Surfer: your typing now goes in the "location box". Want to go somewhere fast? Ctrl+L | yahoo <return>. BOOM!
Now the next thing, is potentially even cooler, and more mind expanding. You will actually start to Think about using the Internet as a Tool.
This is called a bookmarklet. Essentially you harness the power of keyword searching, typing in the URL box, Ctrl-L, and google to create your web browser into an Intarweb War Machine.
Steps:
- Do a single word google search. boink
- Bookmark the result page
- Go to "manage your bookmarks" or the equivalent place where you can edit bookmarks
- Get the Properties, and then take apart the URL and replace what you searched for with %s
- Give your bookmark a keyword. For google I use goo.
- Save
- Now you have magic. Your location box is now a red hot gleaming pistol directed straight at the internet and loaded with the explosive power that is google.
Do this: Ctrl-L / goo kitty
Hopefully, you should now be making an "ahhhhhhhh!" sound.
You can do it with even better google searches too. Or for that matter, ANY search engine where you can pick apart the bookmarked URL, replacing your search term with %s. That way, you have a keyword telling where to search, the terms you type in, and so any kind of search you can imagine becomes your TOOL.
Google image search. Like this, gis poutine, bookmark it, change 'poutine' to %s, now you have Ctrl+L / gis best pout. Best thing EVAR!
Exercise!
- gis poutine
- goo "best poutine"
- goo "best * ever"
- goo "best pout ever"
- goo "my new favorite *"
- BONUS POINTS: imdb "vincent gallo"
Notice I'm doing something else tricky in those last few. Enclosing with quotes forces google to consider it exactly as the phrase you typed. And the * wildcard makes google fill in the blank for you in the quote. So you can get an instant sense of what people are really going crazy about lately like this goo "crazy about * lately".
Bored with those? try misspelling things. goo "bestest * evar", goo "my farvoite", goo "my farovite" etc. there's no more creative weird wide webble than the one that you can tease out off google with your own sick mind.
wondering what to name your next kitten? gis fluffy, gis mittens, gis mary kate, gis ashley, gis jenna
paranoia starting to recede? goo "hidden form of *"
lonely much? goo "gave me head for *"
and then, when you get run out of ideas with google. Surprise and wondernate yourself a little with tinyurl and/or tinypic. Take apart the URL. What do you get that you can play with? Just fill in a random five or so charachters at the end and see what the hell happens! Nobody says the internet is fun anymore. except me!
