Dionne Warwick shot to fame as Burt Bacharach's primary muse in the 60's, then enjoyed a successful career until the 90's, when she started pimpin' the Psychic Friends Network. But Dionne's credibility shot through the roof recently after she was arrested on marijuana charges in Miami. Yesterday the charges were dropped, as Dionne reached a plea bargain and agreed to undergo drug counseling. "Through the Grace of God, I can put this unpleasant experience behind me," said Ms. Warwick. Please. It's chronic, for Chrissakes. Harmless doobage. It's not like it's child porn or anything, and it's healthier than tater tots!
Note how the resourceful Ms. Warwick (allegedly) managed to squeeze 11 marijuana cigarettes into a lipstick tube. Now that is packin' it tight. If I ever take up pot-smokin', I'm calling the Psychic Friends for tips, 'cause I can't roll for shit.
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The greatest band in America, Wilco, has just released the greatest album of the year, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. The long journey to this album getting released is on the docket for a future Footsteps On the Roof column, but documentarian Sam Jones managed to capture a very tumultuous year in the life of Wilco in a new documentary that premieres this month at the L.A. Film Festival. It moves into New York, L.A. and Wilco's hometown Chicago beginning in July; future wider release plans are uncertain.
Olympia should therefore see it come to local theaters no later than Spring of 2005.
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You remember this thing called Napster? Once it was the word upon every music lover's lips. Then Shawn Fanning's grand fuck-you to high CD prices and the unobtainability of rare tracks got stuck by the RIAA and federal judges. BMG bailed it out, and in the last month several personnel and ownership changes have ensued. It looked like it would re-emerge as a fee-based service. Unfortunately it looks like Napster's filing for bankruptcy might put that in jeopardy. But don't worry -- you can still get mediocre shit at your local record store for only one day's salary!
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Attention pipe dreamers: J-Lo's available again. Well, that was quick.
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I was really, really happy recently when reflecting upon the fact that in 2002, the biggest media star in America, the most visible face in the world, the most promising new comedian to come along in several moons, was Ozzy Osbourne.
But folks, this shit's got to stop. Polls indicate The Osbournes, despite huge continuing popularity, is starting to get a little over-exposed. Granted, in my position as writer for an internet romance site, I'm not helping. Still, many are finding the Osbournes a bit too ubiquitous at the moment.
And it ain't goin' away: Daughter Kelly has just announced that she will be making a full-length solo album with producer Rick Wake. Wake's past projects: Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, and Jennifer Lopez. Oh, Jesus. That is clearly something Ozzy should take a more disciplinary stance about. That is not good parenting.
BTW, Kelly re-recorded Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" for The Osbourne Family Album. Which led to the solo deal.
I just don't know how much more surreal we can get.
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Oh, by the way, Hole broke up. You're surprised? Actually, what's surprising is that I didn't hear about it till now -- and that no other internet media outlets seem to care either.
This frees Courtney Love to spent more time fighting the good fight for artist's rights with record labels, and to record a series of love duets with Mary Lou Lord.
