Buzzword that didn't make it. Conjunction of Smart Marketing: Smarketing.
Inside tip: Certain postal workers think it's funny to refer to their mail bags as scrotums.
There's a town in Washington by the name of Nooksack.
All week my wife has been out of town on a job. I think I should be worried. She's doing lab work on toxic soil samples. Alongside a guy with a drilling rig. In a town called Woodburn.
Hope she took some lotion.
Can't place my column in The Olympian. Too edgy. Too dark. Can't place my column in the The Stranger. Too bland. Too whitebread. Doomed to pumpernickel purgatory.
The worst thing about my trip to the Southwest was that I didn't know where anything was in any town along the way. We took our AAA guide (thank God I spent the extra money, last years AA guide just showed a bunch of old churches and auditoriums) but it still only showed hotels and parks and stuff. What AAA really needs to do is list every Krispy Kreme within 50 miles. No. Check that. 100 miles...
Speaking of desert desserts, when I was in Green River, Utah, I had this creative concoction called Little Big Horn pudding pie. Also known as Custard's Last Stand.
Why is it that the most dangerous and alertness-demanding professions in the world, emergency ward doctors, firefighters and paramedics, work 12 to 24 hour shifts? I don't know about you, but I can't stay alert for 8. And, as far as I know, I've never come close to killing a person by fitting his suit badly.
Worst time on my vacation? When I wasn't behind the wheel. I can't stand being the passenger when someone else is driving. I just don't passenge well at all.
Read the other day about another successful turkey baster insemination. What do you call the kid that results from that? A baster-d?
