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Cynic's Sideline by Funny Guy Culture::Funny! Death Watch '06: Gene Pitney by Paul Shrug News::Death For all you Mac users out there... by Starwing Sci-Tech::Computin'

Death Watch '06: Jack Palance, Gerald Levert
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Fri Nov 10th, 2006 at 04:19:31 PM PDT
Jack Palance, the great Western actor who had a late career rebirth in City Slickers died in California at age 87. (Quote from The Stranger: "In other news, Jack Palance was still alive.") Also, R&B crooner Gerald Levert died suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 40. (3 comments, 110 words in story) Full Story

Death Watch '06: Former South African President P.W. Botha
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Tue Oct 31st, 2006 at 06:08:28 PM PDT
Former South African president P.W. Botha, who thought apartheid was a pretty darn good idea, is playing Sun City at age 90. Adolf finally gets a doubles partner in the fiery deep. Don't let the proverbial screen door hit you, Great Crocodile. (3 comments) Comments >>

Death Watch '06: Red Auerbach
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Sun Oct 29th, 2006 at 01:49:07 AM PDT
The greatest coach in the history of the National Basketball Association, Red Auerbach -- who coached the Boston Celtics to nine titles in ten years, completely unheard of for any American professional sports franchise -- has died at age 89. (1 comment) Comments >>

Death Watch '06: Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Mon Sep 4th, 2006 at 12:23:52 AM PDT
I apologize. I kinda liked the dude, and feel kinda bad that he's gone. However, there is absolutely no other possible way to intro this piece: Crikey! Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, who fought crocodiles with an Australian accent, knows what the shrimp on the barbie feels like at age 44. Before you ask, the answer is no. He was poisoned by a stingray on a diving expedition. He was not killed by a crocodile, an alligator, Paul Hogan, or Florida Gator fans. It was a fish. It's always a fish, isn't it? (9 comments) Comments >>

Death Watch '06: Glenn Ford
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Wed Aug 30th, 2006 at 10:54:23 PM PDT
Okay, this one seems suitably important. Actor Glenn Ford, star of the great 50's juvey drama Blackboard Jungle, a million Westerns, Pocketful of Miracles, and the original film version of The Courtship of Eddie's Father, has death metaphor'ed at age 90. Thoughts? Comments? Encores? Hot Dishes? (7 comments) Comments >>

Death Watch '06: Arthur Lee
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Fri Aug 4th, 2006 at 03:33:39 AM PDT
The coolest person I ever shared a birthday with, Arthur Lee of the band Love, has died of leukemia at age 61. (2 comments, 443 words in story) Full Story

Death Watch '06: Mickey Spillane
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Mon Jul 17th, 2006 at 04:38:42 PM PDT
This one is a bummer: Hardboiled crime story writer Mickey Spillane, who created the enduring Mike Hammer character, (submit your death metaphors in the comments) at age 87. Update [2006-7-18 22:1:31 by Paul Shrug]: Read Matt's obit inside. It's fantastic. Too damn long for this intro box, sadly. I tried. (3 comments) Comments >>

Death Watch '06: Red Buttons
By Paul Shrug, Section News Posted on Thu Jul 13th, 2006 at 01:04:36 PM PDT
Here's why I don't like doing Death Watches all that much anymore: Israel just launched a major-ass strike on Beirut. Valerie Plame just sued half the White House. We are living in heady times. These are ginormous news items that may shape our world even more than the Griswold's building fire, which deprived Olympians of Old School Pizza for too damn long. But then somebody dies, and I instinctively say to myself, "Gotta go on Satanosphere!" Where the death notice will remain on the front page for six months. It's just placement in the universe, man -- the need to prioritize! I'm not your Death Monkey! I'm not your Obit Monkey! I'm not even your Arctic Monkey! I'm a man, Joe! With feelings! Flesh, blood, neurons, dirt under my fingernails! Goddamn it -- can't you hear me calling? Anyway. Oscar-winning actor Red Buttons is dead at 87. Have a nice apocalypse. (14 comments) Comments >>

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