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Oh shit, it's Xmas or something, isn't it? | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

No! (none / 0) (#3)
by Paul Shrug (paulshrug@YourSadCareerAsASpammer.gmail.com) on Fri Dec 23rd, 2005 at 09:58:48 PM PDT
(User Info) http://museumpoparch.blogspot.com

I already gave you my thankful lists, Hicks... three of 'em. Plus they've all been sold to Reader's Digest for their "Humor in Uniform" column (before you ask, I wore scrubs to the pitch meeting).

Instead, how about I give you one of my patented year-end Top 10 lists? Like... I don't know, something like... maybe.....

Paul Shrug's Favorite 10 Character Suggestions for Future Chapters of R Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet":

Mike, the bipolar electrician
Dolores, the insatiable claims adjuster
Traci, the plain-looking kleptomaniac administrative assistant
Antonio, the oversexed ambassador to Luxembourg
Mr. Bingles, the incontinent kiddie clown
Samantha, the girl at the salad bar who is legally prohibited from handling a set of tongs
G-Morph, the bacterium that turned into a rap star after a janitorial accident
CX222-57B, the computer chip who's wanted for armed robbery
Cookie, the clairvoyant French poodle
The entire population of Tumwater, Washington

(On the off-chance you have no idea what "Trapped in the Closet" is, here. It is the comedy smash of the year. It's as funny as The 40-Year-Old Virgin.)

--Shrug
Now Doing Weddings And Irony

LOL (none / 0) (#4)
by Starwing on Fri Dec 23rd, 2005 at 11:14:08 PM PDT
(User Info)

Samantha: the girl at the salad bar who is legally prohibited from handling a set of tongs

That's just fucking hysterical....

S T A R W I N G
There are 10 kinds of people in the world:
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
[ Parent ]

exclusive lyric from Chapter 15 (none / 0) (#5)
by Paul Shrug (paulshrug@YourSadCareerAsASpammer.gmail.com) on Fri Dec 23rd, 2005 at 11:39:11 PM PDT
(User Info) http://museumpoparch.blogspot.com

"I told this PYT I wanted some chickpeas
So I said 'Baby, can you give me some please?'
She said 'Yeah'
But then she said 'Oh'
Then I said 'What?'
Then she said 'No'
'See I had this little accident in 2003
When I was just an intern attending an open-heart surgery
And I dropped some tongs into this sucka's cavity
Now his pelvis makes a squeaking noise when he has to pee
So I can't use no tongs on you baby
But here's my number if you wanna have a menage-a-three'
I said 'That's fly, hope you like midgets'
She said 'Long as there's a hundred or so for me in it'"
So we went back in the clo-SET
We went back in the clo-SET
We stormed back in clo-SET
We goose-stepped into the clo-SET...

(Sigh) They don't write 'em....

--Shrug
Now Doing Weddings And Irony
[ Parent ]

Oh shit, it's Xmas or something, isn't it? | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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